Day 9: My Friend, Mark

Today’s Prompt: You receive a mysterious email and the subject line reads “Everything you know is a lie.” You open the email and read further: “Act calm as not to alert anyone, but everyone around you is not who they say they are. You need to quietly get out of there and meet me at the spot where you had your first kiss. You know the place. My name is Mark.”

— Courtesy: WritersDigest.Com

Word Count: 1,770

I want to tell you about my friend, Mark. But let’s get something straight from the onset. ‘First Kiss’ isn’t exactly what it sounds like and Mark who is the reason I’m telling this story to begin with, is not the guy’s real name. And I am not in the secret service or anything so lay aside every sentiment you may have for folks in that department. Let’s get back to Mark cause this story is about him. Him not me, forget everything you ever heard those wannabe shrinks say. Those folks couldn’t wriggle free of a wet toilet tissue trammel to begin with.

            …What? You wanna know how I ended up eating roaches for dinner? That’s what I’m getting at. Haven’t you been listening to a word I’ve said these past minutes?

            ‘First Kiss’ was what we called our rite of induction. We belonged to this cult, you see?

            …No it aint the kind of cult where you had to off people just to make an appearance. It was totally legit stuff.

            …How come I’m stuck here if it was totally legit? Are you for real? Who’s telling this story, anyway? Are you an undercover shrink or something? You even stink like one.

            …You’re not? Let’s get something straight, I’ll tell my story my way or it’s no way.

            Like I said, it was totally legit. We committed no crimes. Check your records see if you’ll find a crime by The Mark Gang. The only clause is we were all boys. Four boys, five, if you counted Mark.

            Let’s get to the highpoints of the story. There were school folks who believed Mark was an alien.

            …No. Not an illegal immigrant kind of thing. We never knew who his parents were, though.

            I’m talking about an extraterrestrial, the Stephen Spielberg kind. He probably flew in from one of the Kepler cluster of planets all these young charismatic set of astronauts keep probing. He looked the type, too?

            …Did we find any evidence to buttress the fact? Plenty.

            First, one of the kids in our cult Etok (/hey toke/), I believe it was had this issue with Mark about his gender and he called him out, too.

            “How come I never seen you go on a date?” Etok said. It was the truth Mark rarely ever chatted up a girl and he forbade us to bring girls to meetings even a simple group gathering.

            …What did we discuss in the meetings? Why would I tell you? Those were group secrets and we swore to never tell. Would you tell me if I asked what you guys discussed in your locker rooms or what you and your wife do…

            …Okay. I’ll get on with it. But quit the silly questions cause there are special moments you couldn’t draw out of me with a chainfall.

            And Mark tells this guy, “I got nothing against the female type. I’m just being cautious.”

            “Cautious? About what?” Etok shot back. Now that I’ve got time to think about it I think Etok was trying to get Mark to like the female type because he had this sister he was…

            …Yeah, right. The story. It’s always the story.

            …How come all of a sudden, I changed my mind and wanna come right out into the open?

            Isn’t it obvious? At my age, I got nothing more to look forward to. What do I gatto lose? But it’s the same story I’ve been telling all my life. The question you ought to be asking, officer is why the hell didn’t they believe me?

            …Why’d I pick you? I guess, it’s cause I like you. I like the way you take care in passing my meal to me through that little opening, taking care it don’t tip over and spill all over the tray. I’ll tell you something, if it wasn’t for the bars between us, I’d give you a bear hug.

            …Okay. Okay, guess you’re right no need getting mushy. I’d probably end up messing up your uniform, anyway.

            …Yeah, back to Mark. The architect of my misery.

            So Etok tells Mark, “And it’s not just that. How come you never change while we hang around? How come we always gatto leave before you do?” Etok was right on that count, too. Mark had to be alone in the bathroom to change or take a leak.

            “Quit your sniveling,” Mark said. You could see the rage flare up in his eyes but he kept his voice in check.

            “Why? Am I touching a raw nerve? Is that it?” Etok didn’t know when to quit.

The air around Mark boiled. It happened so fast; one moment it was there and the next, poof! Gone with the wind. I thought I imagined it but when I and the other members of the cult collated data, it appeared they’d spotted it too.

            When I think about it, I think we must have been under a spell to have kept hanging around Mark after that experience. And to top it all, we set up a little challenge. It was actually, Etok’s idea. He died, you know? Not Mark, Etok. A week after Mark took him up on his offer; they dragged him out from under a healthy Dogonyaro tree. There’d been no storm, no rain but the tree had come down while Etok passed by. How do you explain such a load of crap to a rational mind?

            …Was Mark responsible? I’m not saying he was but… things like that don’t just happen.

            …What was the challenge about? Now that’s the kind of question you ought to be asking. Mark had agreed to meet a blind date at one of our boy’s home, inside his bedroom. You know how that kind of thing goes. Well, the girl came. I took one look at her and I can’t say I didn’t wish I had Mark’s luck.

            Mark was in the bedroom waiting and the girl went in to him. It wasn’t quite 60 seconds and a guttural scream cut through the silence in the house. We hurried into the room, of course. Everything looked as it should be in a bedroom; the girl half-naked and Mark in his boxers. The girl sat on the edge of the bed staring at the wall, completely lost like she didn’t know where she was. The incident almost got us expelled from school. I remember when the school shrink brought the girl around and she narrated her journey through hell cause that’s what it was. She recalled coming into the house, the walk to the bedroom; seeing Mark on the bed in his boxers, taking off her clothes. Ask her to explain what happened beyond that and she goes vague.

            …Right, the email. I had to tell you about the sender so you don’t get things all muddled up. I don’t wanna go over this again so you know the kind of guy we’re dealing with.

            The years spun out and all the boys in that cult split. Some left the country and it amazed me to a great degree when I heard those investigators say they caught up with them and questioned them and they all denied ever knowing a boy named Mark. You see, I worked at technological outfit when I got that email from Mark. I had all but forgotten about him. The last time I saw or heard from him was Graduation Day. That was it. After that we cut off communication. It’s amazing how he found me cause I never left a forwarding address.

            …What’d the email say? Mark had stated, ‘Everyone around you is not who they say they are.’ He asked me to meet him where I had my ‘First Kiss’ you know what that means by now where it is that’s what I’ve not mentioned. It’s a valley on the edge of the high school we both attended. We’d found an alternate route in there that doesn’t lead through the school gates.

            …What’d he say when I met him? He told me he’d been on my trail for years, told me he knew everything about me and that he was sent from… guess what?

            …No. not the secret service. Haven’t you been listening? From planet Koldovia.

            …Where’s that? Ask the boys at NASA. I can’t help you in that department.

            He said he’d been tracking me cause his galaxy had an interest in me. The evil political party, of course. He’d been sent to protect me and The Mark Cult was all a front.

            …How does that involve the people at my workplace? Patience, my friend. I’ll get to that, shortly. He showed me a device. It looked strangely familiar at first. Then I remembered. We had invented new technology at the office. It was an automatic controlling device, which could act as a home appliance remote control and automobile remote control. You could get around almost anything electronics at the click of a button. Sounds like fun, han?

            …How did Mark come by it? I asked him the same question and he said, “It’s alien technology, our own technology—from Koldovia. The guys at your office are about to introduce alien technology into your world and start a colony. It’s going to be an underground work and then Earth’s gonna be under their control.”

            …Officer, do I look homicidal? I mean, not in this uniform. So what I objected to the technology from the start? do you suppose I could kill to prove a point?

            Your guys said on the day the explosion at the office occurred that it was reported I left work early but I was out visiting an old friend, Mark. Mark said those guys were all aliens—extraterrestrials. Mark said he could make them all disappear at the click of a button and I thought why bother the Government when you can offer your country a service free of charge? And I told Mark, “Make it happen.”

            He clicked the red button on the device…

            …What happened? Nothing. I went home after that and your guys picked me up the next morning on charges of mass murder. They said I had the office all wired up with explosives that they found the triggering device in my house with my fingerprints on it. Last time I checked aliens don’t leave fingerprints.

            ….So what they found the triggering device in my house. I don’t remember. Mark could have given it to me for safe keeping. But I didn’t kill anybody. Mark did. But you bet your life they were all ETs because Mark never lies.

Eneh Akpan

June 9th, 2014